#there's more where that came from i guess lol
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i haven't written fanfics in forever but this came to me in a dream after seing more and more Tom Taylor/Cregan content.
i'm not a native speaker and i'm not willing to go to length to write proper english, so this is all i can offer.
this fic is loosely inspired by my own backpacking trip where i was stuck in a train somewhere in austria and things would've been so much better if they ended up like this:
A Game of UNO
everybody has had a crush on a stranger on public transport, right? this is a story about how briefly meeting one of the most handsome men ever has turned your life upside down (always wanted to use that cringe sentence somehow lol)
warnings: a bit of smut, fingering, cunnilingus, handjob, blowjob, semi-public 'sex'
words: ~8.5k
this is set in the modern world, somewhereon the tracks of eastern europe.
also loosely inspied by this story from toms insta because if that man was sitting in front of me in a train, i would forget myself
https://x.com/tomtaylorfiles/status/1832120778034237528?s=19
you struggled as you tried to squeeze past multiple other patrons trying to find an empty seat, your backpack getting caught on door handles or in tight spaces as you tried to be as little of a nuisance as possible.
it was only your second week of backpacking, yet you already had enough of it. currently traveling from croatia to slovenia, you were already struggling with the scorching august heat.
it was hot.
you felt sticky.
your travel-buddy injured himself and had to cut your backpacking trip short.
the last thing the universe could grant you was a decent seat near an open window, preferably without anyone getting into close proximity to you.
just as you finished that thought you reached the end of the train wagon.
an annoyed sigh left your lips as you tried to shimmy around, your backpack trapping you once again in the narrow hallway leading past the secluded compartments of the train.
once you managed to make a 180° you were met with blue eyes from the other end of the hallway.
most people managed to find some place to sit, so you were able to get a clear view of the tall brunette smiling at you.
“no seats?” he asked, and you shake your head. “nothing available i fear…” you said as he approached you, double checking the seating-situation through the glass doors of the compartments on his way over to you.
“i guess we’ll have to take the floor then” he said as he hauled his own backpack off his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor with a thump loud enough to make you fear he put a hole in the floor of the old train.
you eye him carefully as he opens one of the many zippers of the backpack to pull out some random cardgame “you know how to play?”
by now it’s obvious that he does not plan on enjoying the train ride separately, so much for nobody getting into close proximity.
you shake your head.
“i only know mau mau…” you admit ashamed.
his confused eyes met yours as he was about to settle on the floor, his lips pulling into a smirk.
“what, like a cat’s noise?”
you sigh again as you struggle to take your backpack off, “no… I mean it does sound like it, but it's a lot like UNO. just with different cards.”
as you finally managed to let your bag fall to the floor, you let out an annoyed huff before you dropped to the floor yourself, propping your back against your tightly packed luggage.
“i would show you how to play but my brother took the deck of cards with him”
“where is your brother?” the strange man asks as he sits down as well, and you couldn’t help but notice how his muscular thighs bulged under his linen shorts.
“had to take a plane home.” you tell him
“we wanted to backpack through the EU together to celebrate his graduation but the idiot broke his foot on a hike not even a week after we left home.” you keep on rambling.
while you were talking the guy in front of you started to dig through his backpack without lifting his gaze from yours.
“well, i’m sorry to hear that. hope he’s having a quick recovery.”
you can only nod as you watch random stuff from his bag fall in his lap as he’s going deeper into it.
“i’m y/n by the way, sorry for blubbering around.”
“it’s fine. i’m cregan” he answers as he triumphantly pulls another cardgames’ box from gis luggage before placing it between you on the floor “nice to meet you!”
as you realized what he’d searched his bag for you couldn’t help but smile “i thought since you knew a game like UNO, might as well try the real thing.”
nodding and smiling at him, you grab the deck and start shuffling the cards while he stuffs the few stray items back into his backpack.
“may i ask where you’re from? i’m guessing the UK but i’m not sure… i’m not that great with accents” you say as you lay out the cards for each of you.
“well, i guess its not that hard to tell in my case” he laughs “i’m from northern england”
“so scottish?”
“not that far up north”
he smirks at you and you can’t help but laugh, his eyes wandering over your frame as you’re distracted with sorting your cards. he does the same, laying down a red 7 on the foundation card.
“your turn”
“IN WHAT UNIVERSE ARE YOU ALLOWED TO PUT TWO BLACK CARDS ON TOP OF EACH OTHER?”
his loud voice erupts through the train. it’s not the first time either, so at this point a few other travelers peak through the glassdoors to glare at you.
“what do you mean?” you laugh, acting innocent as he rambles about rules of the game you “clearly didn’t know or at least didn’t care about”
by now you were at the sixth round of the game and you had multiple disagreements about certain rules. the first few times were accidental, as you really did play a bit different than him, but by now it was out of principle.
the way his eyebrows carved into a deep frown each time, his hands frantically flapping around as he explains how fundamentally wrong you are with no real vigor to it: it was endearing to watch.
“i’m sorry cregan, but that's how i was taught to play” you shrug “it’s just like last time”
his lips are pressed into a tight line as he looks up at you again “it’s alright” he sighs as he puts down his last card “because i would’ve won anyways”
your mouth falls open as he snickers to himself, collecting the cards from the floor and plucking your remaining stack from your hands.
“one more round? i have to get off in two stops” he asks as he shuffles the deck once again
“sure” you smile, even though you would prefer it if he stayed.
the next stop comes and multiple people get off, as this is the last stop before crossing the border to slovenia.
a frown forms on your face as the first fat drops of rain hit the windows and the sky darkens considerably.
the rails snaked themselves through the scenic mountains of the balkans for quite some time now, but the sudden change of weather made the rocky slopes loom over you scarily, as if the sky was trapping you in and crushing you in the valley of two mountains.
the rain got heavier as you left the last town behind and it took only a few minutes before the first thunder erupted from the skies.
UNO was the last thing on your mind right now and cregan seemed to notice your change of mood.
“hey, it’s just a bit stormy. no need to worry.” he smiles at you as he reaches over to reassuringly grab your hand, squeezing it lightly to get your attention.
as your eyes met, the train came to an abrupt halt in its tracks.
the lights flickered for a moment and you held onto his hand tightly as you waited for someone to tell you what was going on.
soon enough the train attendant came by and tried to explain what was going on, the only thing you understood was that there was some rubble covering the tracks and that you had to wait.
great.
cregan reassured you that it would be fine and probably just take a little time, but after almost an hour passed you started to grow restless.
“listen, i know you are worried right now, but maybe we should try and get your mind off of this.”
as he spoke, he rose to his feet and offered you his hand once again. a blush crept up your neck and covered your cheeks at the suggestive tone in his voice.
you grab his hand quickly, letting him pull you up and standing a bit closer to him than really necessary.
“what do you have in mind?”
“you not hungry?” he asks through his mouth full of soup.
your eyebrow twitches as you sip your tea from a flimsy plastic cup “no, thanks for the drink tho”
apparently his idea of getting your mind of a thunderstorm rocking the still train was a lot different than yours.
as he pulled you to your feet in the hallway of the train wagon, you had realized how most of the compartments were empty by now. he had taken your backpacks, hauled them into the luggage racks of one of them before turning around smiling.
a chill went down your spine as he stepped closer, taking your hand in his once again before shooing you out the door again.
“let's get something to warm you up. your hands are freezing.” with that he started to lead the way towards the dining car.
you can’t help but feel a bit disappointed.
was it like you to just fuck a random stranger on the train? no.
did the last two hours of playing and laughing with cregan convince you that you actually liked that strange british guy? absolutely.
the way he talked to you, his laugh vibrating in your chest every time you used a proverb the wrong way while trying to seem savvy, his gaze always holding yours but scanning over you every time you looked away.
it made you crazy about him.
you also couldn’t help but notice that his thick thighs weren’t the only enticing thing about him. his choppy brown hair and stubble framing his face nicely, his shirt tightening around his chest every time he straightened his back and shoulders, and most importantly: the way he listened to everything you had to say with a look of genuine interest while staring you down.
it made you tingly all over again, thinking about the intense eye contact you held with him (something you usually struggled with).
your thoughts were disrupted by the noise of cregan's plastic spoon scraping up the rest of his suspicious looking soup.
you watched as he liked the spoon clean before tossing it away with the rest of your disposable cutlery, as you were also finished with your tea.
“can i do you for another one?” he offers, considering he had paid for your first drink already you just shook your head.
“thank you though. i think we should get back to the compartment, i don’t wanna leave the luggage alone for too long”
“fine, you can go ahead. i’ll get something for myself and then i’m right behind you”
by now almost two hours had passed since the train stopped. two hours you spent with the sweetest young man, telling you about his family and his travels.
you can’t help but sigh again as you reach the compartment, trying to think of the least awkward way to ask him for his number.
the inside of the train had cooled down considerably over the past few hours and you shiver as a draft brushes over your bare shoulders. trying to reach your bag to cover up was to no avail, as cregans considerably larger backpack was blocking yours.
you struggle as you try to free your sweatshirt from the bag one more time as the door slides open.
“need any help with that?” cregan asks as he shimmies past you to place a glass bottle down on the little desk below the window.
“yes please… it’s freezing and i can’t turn down the AC in here.” “here let me…”
he reaches past you and you duck, shying away last minute as his chest brushes your back.
he throws you a dark gray bundle rather than handing you your luggage. you frown at first before realizing he gave you a piece of his clothing to cover up.
you don’t comment on it, just pulling the soft half zip sweater over your head to not draw any further attention to your very prominent blush.
your nose is flooded with his smell, a nice combination of pine-scented deodorant and his personal musk. the soft wool of the sweater warms your skin quickly and you smile as your hand brushes over the small wolf emblem resting over your left pectoral.
“thank you…”
you smile down at him where he sat down next to the window, but before he could reply you frown at the beverage he brought with him from the dining car.
“is that… red wine?” you ask bewildered “what, were they out of any hard liquor?” you mockingly ask him as he takes the bottle to unscrew the cap.
“no, well… the train attendant came in as you left and informed us that because of the thunderstorm they can’t do any work on the railway. we’re gonna be here for a while so i thought we might as well get cozy” he smiles at you sheepishly.
you can’t help but roll your eyes at the news as you plop yourself in the seat next to his “maybe you should’ve started with that” you sigh before reaching over to grab the bottle from his hands
“it’s a nice idea though, let’s get comfy…” you smile at him as you take a swig from the bottle, the sour taste of cheap wine flooding your tongue.
“cheers!”
the compartment is filled with giggles and laughs as you finished half the bottle together, passing it back and forth between you.
“so, wait… you’re telling me you realized it was a musical after you had to audition for it with a musical number?” you spurt out as you wipe a tear from the corner of your eye.
apparently, cregan stark was a theatre kid. you also learned that his last name was stark, and that he comes from a family of gifted sportsmen, him being an aspiring ice hockey protege apart from his gift for theatre productions at his university.
“it wasn’t supposed to be a musical when i first got the script, i swear!!” he laughs as he takes another swig “who would expect a pop-musical production of King Lear?”
you shrug as you take the bottle from him again “i don’t know man, but still…” trying to remember what witty remark your drunk brain had prepared for him you look past him out the window, watching the rain pour down and forming small streams down the rocky side of the mountain.
“what was your favorite play? like, were you ever the lead or something?” your eyes find his again as you try to keep the conversation going, hazily reminding yourself that there was still something you wanted to ask of him.
“i was romeo once, in freshman year” he smiles shyly “don’t even know why i got the part, i was to nervous to remember any lines”
“they probably just wanted a handsome face for their lead” you giggle “the story wouldn’t make any sense if romeo wasn’t smoking hot”
“that's not true…” he says before taking another swig.
“yes it is, i mean come on… they were super young, they were basically told that they could be with anyone but the other, and they had to be super hot to find it enticing to run off with each other instead of just carrying on with their families rivalry”
you ramble along, remembering the lecture you held about this english class back in highschool
he looks confused as you carry on with your lecturing before putting a hand on your arm to pause you “no, that makes total sense and stuff, but i meant the part about my cast.”
now it’s your turn to look confused, partially because you couldn’t follow him but mostly because the warmth of his hand seeping through his sweatshirt was a welcome distraction
“i wasn’t cast because i was handsome”
“are you fishing for compliments now?”
“what? no!” he frowns at you “i looked like an egg back then, had a buzzcut and all that…”
he leans back in his seat comfortably as he holds the bottle out for you “but thanks for saying i’m hot anyways” a grin spread over his lips at your flustered expression.
“you really are” you tell him as you reach for the bottle, cregans fingers brushing yours. instead of pulling away he holds the bottle between you, nudging his fingers against yours and squeezing your arm where his hand still layed.
his eyes scanned over your face before he spoke again “you would make a nice juliet yourself” “are you calling me pretty?”
he scoffs “now you’re the one fishing for compliments” “i’m not! i just wanna hear you say it” you laugh, leaning a bit closer.
cregan leans in as well, and you’re sure he can smell the cheap wine on your breath
“you’re very pretty” he mutters as his gaze flickers to your lips, “especially with the wine staining your pretty lips”
you lick your lips out of reflex before you meet his gaze again.
“can i kiss you?” he asks at the same time as you, resulting in a snort from both of you
“i’m taking that as a yes” his lips met yours, his hand leaving your arm to cup your cheek delicately.
he pulled away almost as quickly as he pressed the kiss onto your lips, which left you confused
“that was only a peck… you gotta kiss me!”
before you could complain any further he came onto you again and this time, it felt like a real kiss.
his hand on your cheek guided you towards him and your lips met again, at first only moving carefully to try and find a comfortable rhythm until you slotted against each other perfectly.
he kept pulling away just to reconnect your lips quickly, only taking a second to breathe before filling your body with warmth again.
you don’t remember who incorporated tongue first, you just know that he had the most delicious taste to him.
the more heated the kiss got, the closer you tried to get to him. the bottle of wine was long forgotten on the floor of the compartment as you finally took a leap and broke the kiss for a moment to climb into his lap.
you barely manage to straddle his thighs in the narrow seat, so cregan quickly flips up the armrest to make some room for you.
considering how hesitant you were earlier to even play cards with him, you certainly changed your biases quickly as you scoot up in his lap until your chest grazes his.
he looks up at you through his lashes as his hands find their place on your jeans clad thighs “is this okay?” you ask him nervously as you push some of his hair back
“i can get off if i’m to heavy, i just thought-” he cuts you off by pulling you even closer, his chest now pressed to yours and his hands wandering up to grab your hips.
“you’ll stay right where you are, understood?” you can merely nod before cregan pushes another kiss to your lips, this time there's no hesitation to push his tongue into your mouth. the faint taste of cheap red wine making you dizzy.
your hand pushes into his hair once again, this time to grab it as your other finds its way to his waist, ghosting over the hem of his shirt before dipping your fingers underneath to feel his hot skin.
you can feel him shiver beneath you as you push yourself even closer, your nails skimming up and down his side. his hands started wandering as well, first lighty massaging your upper thigh before he resorted to plainly grope your ass.
it was a welcome surprise to feel his fingers indentations on your flesh even through the thick fabric of your jorts, his initial roughness soon turning into soft guidance of your hips against his pelvis.
as the kiss you share turns more and more desperate, whimpers and grunts being swallowed by the others mouth, your hands keep wandering all over his upper body. you couldn‘t decide whether you wanted to map out his entire body with your fingertips or just hold him impossibly close.
at some point, cregans left hand had slipped underneath your (his) sweater to hold you even closer by your lower back, your core being held in place while his right continued to guide your hips in a leisurely paced grind over his hardening length.
feeling the compartment heating up, sweat forming beneath his broad palm pressed to your skin, the desperation on his tongue being thrust into your mouth, you decide you need to take a breather before things get on to well to quickly.
reluctantly, you pull your head back and with that, leave cregan to desperately pant into the crook of your neck where he rests his head. you look up to the luggage rack above you, trying to focus on anything but the delicious burning sensation the drag of cregans hardened cock against your vulva has left in your lower belly.
your regained focus is ripped from you almost immediately as cregan slowly pulls down the zipper of the half zip to latch onto your pulsepoint.
a hand quickly shoots to his disheveled hair, grabbing the brown strands tightly. the whimper passing his lips is almost pathetic, his eyes closing tightly at the pull of his hair.
it took all your willpower to actually hold him back by the hair on his nape instead of just crashing your lips on his again, his mouth reddened and shimmering with the remainder of your combined saliva.
cregans eyes meet yours, glossy and pupils blown wide from excitement.
“i think…“ you whisper „i think i need a moment“ at this point your hips have stilled completely, yet cregan still held you tightly by your lower back and arse
“alright sweetheart…“ he pauses for a moment, trying not to focus on the throb coming from both his hair being pulled and your thighs tightly trapping his hips in place underneath them
„i didn‘t push it to far, did i?“
„no, you actually pushed it just right, probably a bit to well…“ you chortle as you loosen the grip on his roots, having calmed your breathing just enough to settle comfortably an cregans lap without feeling the need to restrain his burning touch.
a big smile stretches over his lips at your words and almost immediately, his hands start to wander again. you roll your eyes as he tries to shake your regained composure from you. with a smile on your own lips you lay your hands on top of his.
cregan hesitates for a moment, thinking you‘re asking him to pause his movements again. to his surprise, you do the opposite:
you slowly guide his hands to the slope where your thighs meet your hip, his fingers spreading over your hipbone and his thumbs resting comfortably on your lower stomach, perfectly framing your little pouch beneath your bleach washed jorts.
“i think we can take it a bit further now… only if you want to of course, i don‘t wanna pressure you to do it if you don‘t feel like it!“
you start to ramble again, nervous to ask for such intimacy from someone you met mere hours ago. cregans thumbs slowly start to caress where they can reach, inching closer to the zipper of your pants, wiping any doubt from your mind as your eyes meet once again.
“stop worrying so much“ he tells you, the sweetest tone to his voice „i want this just as much as you do, so please…“ his hands grip your hips tightly as he easily maneuvers you off his lap to sit on the seat next to his „do me a favor and take of your pants.“
he says it so matter-of-factly, you almost feel stupid for not starting to undress on your own accord. worry clouds your mind for a moment as you glance towards the glass door to your compartment, but as if he had read your mind cregan was already on it, closing the blinds and lowering the curtains of the small windows next to the ‚isle-seats‘ facing the hallway of the train.
you quickly loosen the button and pull down the zipper of your pants, wiggling out of the thick fabric and purposefully ignoring the damp stain on the inside of your pants‘ crotch-area as well as the wetness tracing between your thighs.
cregan also takes notice of your newly revealed skin, watching hungrily as you nervously press your knees together. technically, you want nothing more but to get the buff man in front of you between your legs.
practically, you can‘t help but think about how dirty the seats must be and how little contact you want your bare skin to have with the dusty upholstery.
“why don‘t you sit down?“
too embarrassed to admit your squeamishness concerning the hygiene of public textiles, you spew out the next best excuse that comes to mind
“i don‘t wanna leave a stain“
cregan snorts as he watches the deep blush creep up your neck and cheeks, hands clasped tightly in front of you
“don‘t worry about that“ he says as he pulls his shirt over his head to place it over the middle seat for you to sit down on.
as he stretches his arms upwards to free himself from the fabric you can feel the flame in your lower belly rekindle. you knew what to expect from the way his clothes hugged his bulging muscles, yet you didn‘t imagine him to be this beefy. his muscles laid bedded underneath soft fat, yet could still be made out clearly whenever he moved. a trail of coarse dark brown hair spread over his pectorals and down to his navel, the soft happy trail disappearing under the band of his boxers peeking from his shorts.
the sight of him made you salivate a little, trying not to think too intensely about what it might feel like to have his front rut against yours.
as if he was trying to stop your train of thoughts, cregan guided you backwards slowly until you sat down atop his discarded shirt. you could feel the remaining warmth of his body heat through the thin fabric of your slip, the gusset most certainly soaked through with your arousal and leaving a moist print on the fabric.
practically vibrating with excitement you followed his every move with your eyes as he slowly knelt in front of you, his hands reassuringly rubbing up and down your plush thighs to coax them to open up to him.
you did as instructed, slowly spreading your legs only to draw in a sharp breath as he slips between them, his waist nestling neatly between them to keep them spread.
“i want to try something… do you trust me?“ he asks, his breath ghosting over your face, drawing you in to lean closer
„yes“
lips are pressed against each other once again, desperately clinging to another as if kissing was their only purpose.
carefully, your hands start to explore his now naked upper body, enthusiastically roaming his back only to rake down through the thin layer of hair towards his navel, not missing the opportunity to grace over his nipples to cast gooseflesh over his body and draw a breathy moan from him.
the thought of cregan being so sensitive to your touch filled you with excitement, slowly starting to inch your waist closer to the edge of the seat to connect with his pelvis again, your core desperately clenching around nothing.
cregan didn‘t keep you waiting much longer, slowly trailing his lips from yours towards your neck, continuing to suck a dark mark into the same spot he tried to claim not to long ago.
this time, your hands found their way into his hair to try and bring him impossibly closer. the welcome throb of his hair being pulled send thrills down his spine, only spurring him on to let his lips wander and map out the skin of your neck, marking every sensitive spot with a loving bite as well as an apologetic lick over the forming bruise.
you don‘t know how much time passes until he detaches from your neck completely, your mind hazy with the way his touch seemingly has left permanent marks on your skin.
without a doubt, you could still feel his lips trailing your neck, his hands going from massaging your thighs to ghost over the hem of your knickers before finding your chest, his palms perfectly resting on the swell of your tits with an occasional flick of your nipples with his thumbs.
cregans previous touches were all but forgotten when he pressed one last peck to your lips before leaning down between your legs, now resting on his hunches.
he eyed the wet spot between your legs with a soft glimmer in his eyes, now on the same level as your soaking cunt as he was leaning down. his broad shoulders nudged your legs apart even further, his arms circling them from underneath to gain further control as well as softly caressing the outside of her thighs soothingly.
slowly getting the idea of what he wanted to try so desperately, your breath grows quicker.
his eyes found yours again as he started to trail stray kisses along the insides of your thighs, nipping at certain spots just as he did on your neck. you try to clench your legs to chase the friction you try to chase so desperately, but he restrains you from doing so.
his shoulders keep your legs propped open as he finally lowers his head to press his open mouth to your covered vulva. an excited gasp leaves your mouth as his tongue pushes forward to add to the wetness of the fabric stretched over your middle, tasting your arousal through the cotton.
„fuck“ is the only thing you manage to utter as he laps on you over the fabric once again, this time accompanied by a pleased hum.
„can i take them off? please…“ his desperate eyes seek your gaze again, pleading to finally expose yourself fully.
the thought was tempting, but the little voice of reason in the back of your head did not want to shut up. this was already a far more intimate situation than you ever thought yourself capable of, but you couldn‘t seem to fully let go.
you slowly shake your head, worry clouding your mind about how he might react to the rejection. „can i keep them on please?“ you don’t even know why you were asking, it was your decision after all. yet you still felt relieved when he nodded in agreement.
“totally fine by me. is it okay if i keep going?“ he asks with his cheek rested on your thigh, his hands stroking your calves soothingly.
“yeah, please keep going“ you basically repeat after him
it doesn‘t take cregan long to get back into his previous position, his hand coming up between your legs to assist his mouth by you pulling the gusset of your panties to the side before diving back in.
the first contact between his hot tongue and your glistening lips was electrifying. he started of with a broad lick right through the middle, parting your lips with it as well as gathering your sticky wetness on his tongue.
“you taste so fucking good“ he mumbles as he closes his eyes for a second, letting your flavor melt on his tongue before diving back in and tracing his tongue upwards again, slightly gracing your clit before closing his lips around it.
you hold onto the armrest for dear life as he starts suckling on your engorged bud, swiping his tongue over it in a harsh rhythm that soon becomes too much too quickly, forcing you to stretch out your hand, grabbing his hair once again.
“careful!“ you tell him „i‘m- haa… a little sensitive“
as you push his head back a little he mumbles an apology before placing a parting kiss on your clit. cregan lays his tongue flat against your hole, the new sensation making you gasp his name aloud.
picking up on the signals your body gives him, the shiver running up your spine as well as the gooseflesh covering your legs, he starts prodding his wet muscle into you slowly, careful not to overwhelm you.
pushing himself into you with slow, languid moves while the crooked bridge of his nose softly nudges your clit is what really sets you off. you can‘t help but grind your pelvis upwards slowly, matching the slow strokes of his tongue against your inner walls.
your breath shudders with every swipe and press, his hands found their place between your thighs once again as he uses his left to keep your slip out of the way and his right to carefully assist his tongue.
as the knuckle of his pointer finger breaches your hole you yelp loudly, as you were not used to the sensation. you faintly remember asking your ex to perform cunnilingus, only for him to laugh and explain how dirty women were down there (obviously complete bullshit).
cregan didn‘t seem to think you were dirty in any way. his movements got bolder and more intense, chasing after your pleasure just as intensely as you were doing yourself.
an occasional moan , often followed by some slurping sounds, passed his lips as he eagerly swallowed each wave of wetness gushing out of you.
his tongue was soon joined by a second finger, and as cregan kept pressing against your g-spot while slowly scissoring you open your legs came up to press against his ears, locking his head in a shaky hold as your moans grew louder by the second
“you have to keep quiet” he whispered, momentarily parting from your pussy
his fingers kept prodding against the rough spot inside of you while he looked up at you, watching as you nod slowly.
“i’ll try…”
cregan smiles and gives your mound an awarding peck before he dives in again. his tongue laps at your clit once again and you’re back in your throes of pleasure, pressing your thighs together again to keep him there.
he picks up on the hint immediately, matching the strokes of his tongue with the pumping of his fingers.
your eyes roll back as you bring your hand to your mouth, trying to keep yourself from moaning out loud again, reducing your pleas for him to finally have mercy on you to muffled whimpers
the air grew tense with your approaching climax, with cregans tongue drawing continuous whimpers from you.
he must’ve felt you growing more tense by the second and before you could protest again, he went from one broad lick over your clit to sucking it between his lips gently.
it was enough to finally push you over the edge, your orgasm hitting you hard as you felt the familiar warmth rushing down your spine, pulsating between your legs. you kept your legs closed tightly around his head, fingers trembling in his hair as you spurred him on to keep sucking, your pelvis grinding against his face roughly in order to ride out your orgasm as best as you could.
cregan complied gladly, keeping his lips closed around your bud as well as his fingers pressed to your g-spot. he was breathless, with his nose pressed tightly into your mound and his mouth still occupied.
he enjoyed himself, the noises of the occuring thunderstorm being muffled by your luscious thighs and your juices coating his palm, slowly trailing down his arm.
the constant pressure slowly became to much for you to handle and your hips stilled, your hand pushing cregans head back from where he was still latched to your core.
the moment your eyes met, you couldn’t help but smile at his flushed state.
cregans stubble was sticky with your arousal, his lips swollen and puckered as he breathed heavily.
“was it good?” he asked teasingly, his cheeks bright red from the heat.
“the best” you reply, still a little breathless. “you did so good baby” you tell him, his shoulders tensing at the praise while a soft hand brushes back his hair.
“keep calling me that…” cregan says as he slowly pulls his fingers from you, licking them clean as he raises to sit next to you once again.
you weren’t sure whether it was the slight buzz from the red wine, or the pleading look in his eyes that encouraged you to straddle his lap again, but you did so swiftly.
your lips crashed against his instantly, giving you a taste of your own arrousal as his tongue immediately found yours.
without a second thought you brushed over his prominent bulge with your knuckles, earning yourself a whimper from the brunette.
“can i touch you baby?” you whisper against his lips, your fingers teasingly slipping under the waistband of his shorts
“hmm… fuck, yes…” cregan answers breathless, your hands immediately fussing with his pants to pull them down enough to finally get your hands on him.
the desperation in his voice only spurred you on as he was pleading for you to touch him, whimpering loudly as you freed him from his confines and took him in your hand carefully. “please…” he croaked as your cool fingers sent electrifying shocks down his length, but you were too occupied with the sight between the two of you to decipher what he wanted, needed.
as expect from a guy his size, he was big. not neccesarily the longest, but definitely girthier than you were used to with a beautiful pink tint to the weeping tip.
dreamily, you brush a thump over his slit, smearing the precum he already leaked and earning another low moan from cregan.
you started to stroke him, the soft skin moving under your fingertips as you mindlessly wondered how beautiful his color would look on your lips, glossed up with makeup in the same way his tip glimmered with cum
“so pretty…” you whispered as he throbbed in your palm, urging you to speed up your movements while adding a little flick of the wrist to it.
as his moans grew louder you shut him up with a kiss, lips and tongues sloppily crashing together as cregan started to thrust into your fist, your hand barely able to close around his dick.
he was gripping your hips tightly, pulling you closer again until he could feel the bottom of his tip pressing against your mound, a beautiful hot sensation of thrusting up into your closed palm while grinding against your pubic bone, his moans resonating in your throat as he kept your lips on his by the back of the neck.
despite his efforts you pulled away slightly while keeping your ministrations on his dick up.
“do you wanna cum baby?” you ask softly, his eyes never leaving yours as you could feel him throb again, precum trailing down your fingers with how much he was leaking
“yes, please..!” he urged you on, his hands gripping your sides as he pressed another messy kiss to your lips “can i come in your mouth? please sweetheart, please put your mouth on me”
you couldn’t help but coo at his begs, adding some speed to the movement over his length.
his pleas were answered by actions, not words as you pressed a parting kiss to the corner of his mouth before you climbed off his lap, his hips straining from his efforts to hold back his thrusts into your fist.
your chest tightens as you look up at him, his cheeks are flushed red with his chest raising and falling rapidly.
you give him a few more strokes until he looks ready to cum, his skin tensing beneath your touch and his moans of your name growing louder with each stroke.
“look at me baby” you tell him, and his eyes find yours in an instant.
slowly sticking out your tongue, you press it to his throbbing tip accompanied by a delighted moan as the taste of him spreads over yout tastebuds.
his face contorts with pleasure as you carefully wrap your lips around his dick, gliding down until your lips meet your hand.
your mouth stretches over his girth and it takes a few attempts for you to comfortably start bobbing your head, the prominent vein running down his underside pulsating against the press of your tongue.
his hands find your head and reluctantly prepare to get your face pushed further into his lap. instead you find yourself delighted by the gentle caress of cregans fingers on your temple, his knuckles brushing some loose strands from your forehead before he runs his fingers through your hair.
as you look up at him through your lashes, sight slightly hazy with the remaining tears of your orgasm, you find him staring at you.
the intensity of his gaze as well as the comforting weight of his palm resting reassuringly in your hair elicits a low moan from you.
cregans eyes widen with surprise as you moan around his cock, the low vibrations in combination with your tongue gliding over his tip once again send familiar shocks through his lower abdomen, he feels his lower back tingling as he realizes his release is approaching rather rapidly.
„hold on-“ he tries to warn you, but with the way you hollow your cheeks and make an effort to swallow his dick completely, there is no way he can manage to form a coherent sentence.
you feel your pussy clenching with excitement at the sound of cregans pathetic moans, a new wave of arousal slowly dripping down between your thighs as you close your eyes again. concentrating on not gagging, you give it your best to take all of him in, imagining the way he would feel inside your cunt as his tip hits the back of your throat at the same time your nose burrows itself in his stomach.
his happy trail tickles your nose as you swallow him down completely with a delighted moan, cregans grip in your hair tightening slightly as he closes his eyes with a loud moan.
his orgasm crashes down on him and without a chance of holding back he softly grinds upwards into your mouth as his cum spurts down your throat. your hands hold onto his thighs tightly as you meet his shallow thrusts with the bop of your head, eyes closed with concentration as you try to drag this out for him as much as you can.
it doesn’t take long for him to slowly guide your face away from his dick, his chest rising and falling quickly with heavy breaths.
“guess you really wanted to return that favor, huh?“ he teases as your eyes meet once again, your chin glistening with the remains of your spit and the bit of cum you didn‘t manage to swallow.
„i did…“ you whisper quietly, voice hoarse from the strain on your throat „did you like that baby? did you like eating me out so much for you to cum this quickly?“ you tease as you slowly get up again, pushing yourself up by holding onto his thighs to stand in front of him.
the blush on his face darkens as you use that nickname again, seemingly having a rather intense effect on him
„thank you“ he whispers, his hands coming up to rest on the back of your thighs. you step closer to cregan, your knees pressing against the seat between his legs as you brush his hair out of his sweaty forehead.
you as you look down on him, your eyes scanning over his still-sticky face, his big eyes glistening with remaining tears of pleasure, his chest still darkened by a deep blush, the weight of reality starts to set in with you.
did you really just do that, get down on you knees in front of a stranger after he ate you out like a man starved?
but he wasn’t really a stranger to you, was he? after how much you talked, laughed and played around together?
cregan seemed to notice the panic settling into your stomach, his eyebrows drawing together with worry as your eyes dart around the compartment.
“what’s wrong sweetheart?” his hands reassuringly rub the sides of your legs, trying to calm you down as he tries to meet your gaze
“i’m just…” you bite your tongue as you think about it for a second “i think i’m just a bit overwhelmed is all… we just did this in public, and without protection-”
“i’m clean if thats what you’re worried about”
“it’s not, but thanks for letting me know”
cregan looks a bit helpless as you keep brushing your fingers through his hair to calm your nerves.
“i’m not the type to do something like this out of the blue, which probably sounds super cheesy but i’ve truly never done something like this, and i never thought i would do it with some stranger on the train”
nodding slowly as he tries to follow your train of thoughts, cregan leans to the side to kiss your wrist without breaking eye contact
“do you regret it? i didn’t want to pressure you, i swear! i just thought that we got along so well and then we made out-” you stop him by pressing a kiss to his hairline
“i never said i regretted it, it was great!” a smile stretches across your face “i’m just a bit surprised by this whole situation, thats all. i really enjoyed this…”
“i’m glad to hear it” he sighs as he leans back in his seat, tucking himself in and closing his pants before reaching his hand out
“now- why don’t you get dressed and come sit down again? i think we’ve still got some wine left, and you still need to finish that story about your theater play in highschool” you smile brightly at cregans words as you gather your pants and the one shoe that came loose throughout your snogging session and put them back on while he stuffs the soiled shirt from the seat into his backpack to exchange it with a clean one.
you’re glued to his side immediately as he sits back down, one leg thrown over his and your arms hugging his tightly.
cregan laughs at the sight of you, slowly caressing your leg while you rest your head on his shoulder, looking up at him through your lashes.
the evening goes by faster than you had anticipated, but with your laughter filling the compartment, neither of you realized how quickly time flew by.
you were in the middle of another make out break, cregan slotted between your legs as you tussle his hair some more, when the train suddenly recoiled. his head shot up immediately, trying to see anything out the window despite the darkness limiting his sight.
as the train suddenly jerked forward and started taking up tempo, you realized that the rain had stopped. the sky outside the window was as clear as ever and with a heavy sigh, your eyes met cregans.
“you’re getting off at the next stop?”
“yes…”
“oh… you should get ready then, it can’t be that long until we’re there” you mumble, trying to force a smile as you push yourself up and cregan out of your lap.
the realization hits you that this whole afternoon, the idea of you two being so intimate with each other and possibly forming more than a physical bond was over now.
cregan raises from his seat reluctantly, avoiding your gaze as his bubble was burst well.
“i think i’ll go to the bathroom, be back in a second…” he sort of tells himself before leaving you behind in the compartment.
it feels cold to be left behind like this, even though he hasn’t even gotten off the train yet. as cregan returns to you you start taking of his woolen hoodie, only to be stopped by his hands resting on your shoulders.
“keep it. please.”
he looks down on you sternly and before you can protest, an announcement over the speakers tells you that the next stop is coming up.
you tear up immediately and press yourself face first into cregans chest, hugging him tightly around the waist while his arms wrap around your shoulders.
“thank you for today” you say, muffled by his pectorals.
“no, thank you sweetheart. i had the best time with you today.” he whispers into your hair before pressing a kiss to your forehead, the train slowly coming to a halt.
“i guess i’ll see you around?” cregan asks hopefully.
“maybe… goodbye cregan.”
“goodbye…” as the train fully stops you sway lightly in his embrace.
you let him go without hesitation and step aside so he can take his backpack, with one last look over his shoulder he waves at you before squeezing out the department and towards the exit of the train.
you close your eyes for a second taking a deep breath while trying to calm yourself down.
this is so stupid you think to yourself as you gaze around the empty department, until a flash of color catches your eye:
cregan hat forgotten his UNO deck.
in a second, you scurry to find a pen and hastily scribble something on the cardboard box.
you can hear the doors opening and before you know it, you push open the window and lean out on the platform, scanning the crowd for the tall man.
“CREGAN!” you yell out as you spot him, cigarette and lighter in hand, his nose and eyes suspiciously red.
he scans the platform for a second before he strides towards you quickly, the doors already closing after the waiting passengers boarded the train.
before he can catch his breath or ask any questions, wasting the little time you had left, you pull him towards you by the neck and press a quick peck to his lips.
the two of you part with a smack as the train picks up speed and you toss over the little red pack of cards, which he catches against his chest.
you simply grin at him as his confused figure gets smaller and smaller in the distance, slowly backing away into the confines of the train, smilling as you let yourself fall into your seat.
cregan stands at the platform, looking after the train as it passes by and slowly disappears into the night.
confusion is clear on his face as he looks down on the little cardboard box in his hand, turning it in his palm.
“fucking hell…” he laughs out as he stuffs it into his backpack, finally lighting up his cigarette as he makes his way towards the exit of the platform, smiling ear to ear at the message you messily scribbled down.
call for a rematch :) xxx-xxxx-xxxx
will there be a rematch one day? who knows. but i hope you enjoyed this as much as i did while writing it.
love ya
#cregan x reader#modern cregan stark#cregan stark#hotd cregan#tom taylor#train#smut#strangers to lovers#house of the dragon#hotd au
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Gosh, this is gonna be a long story… I mean really long…
Absolutely starting with T.H.White’s the once and future king. My parents were like changing working places in different countries all the time and so my siblings and I were usually went to international schools which were taught in English, u know, global language, and international schools in all countries teach in English. So back to about 7 one of my teachers (a very sweet British lady) gave me that White’s novel and I was just so into it. But then I’m started to focus on other stuffs and did not think about Arthurian for years.
The when I was like 13 or something(can’t remember lol) my family moved to the UK and my school was like spending the whole year teaching Le Morte D’ Arthur in Literature class, but what’s the most important for me is that, they adapted the book into a stage play (not a big one, just school show) and selected performers from among the students. Yes, and I have been chosen to cast Guinevere. (I still don’t know why my teacher choose me a new coming student and English is like my 3rd or 5th language, maybe just eney menny miny moe ur gonna be Guinevere in this show lol). I was under huge pressure but also very grateful for the trust so I was like “I’m gonna do this beyond just ok, come hell or high water”. I made the whole year absorbing all Arthurian sources as much as I could and I spent most of my time learning about Gwen (Obviously). I feel like I started to have a strong and deep emotion connection to the Camelot Queen and by the end of the show I felt like I wanted to cry so badly, I was so attached to Guinevere (it was really embarrassing i still can’t figure out what’s wrong with myself lol).
Yeah, I think this is where I really started to get into the Arthurian legend, I even think that liking it was the reason I chose to stay in the UK. (Yup, my parents have since happily gone on to work in other countries, but I said I don't want to wander around, I’m gonna stay here plz let me stay) Gosh, it's so convenient that if you live in the UK if you see a certain location of interest for Arthurian you can just go there and check it out…
btw my sister is also quite into Arthuriana (well, under my influence), but she’s pretty stick to Arthur & Guinevere, so every time u know when i say “aww i feel like Guincelot and even MordGuin is cute” she’s like “damn u…” lol, sisterhood<3
Plz ignore this part:
And thanks for the Isles of Britain to “adopt” me lol, feels like I'd be more likely to call the UK my home rather than others, as although I've lived in many countries (thanks to my parents? I guess I should be thankful? But I actually don’t really think so) I haven't grown attached to any of them probably because none of them have I lived for time long enough (even those where my ancestors came from, how to say this, like my lineage). Being mixed race identity crisis has always been a thing, even exacerbated by changing residence all the time in my childhood, so it really feels good to have a place a country to be called home u know… Seriously, in that way, Arthurian legend has changed my life (my saviour) (this sounds really really weird I know…)
Yeah i just yapped too much, ignore me plz… but this question just brought so many precious memories to me🥹… thx 4 this question for just be brought up🥺
arthuriana fandom. what was your FIRST introduction to arthuriana im v curious,,, like was it a book a movie word of mouth etc etc
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Okay, here's one of my favourite, sappiest lines. It's gross. Thanks.
#I'm not normal about themm#♡ 'wherever you go please take me' ⁻ (john x prudence)#there's more where that came from i guess lol#my writing (sywtw)
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Bruce doesn't dream.
He never has, really - at least, not that he can remember. He never even had nightmares from the night his parents died. Maybe that's why; maybe he just subconsciously trained himself to not dream after that night, in fear of the nightmares that were sure to come. But the point is that he does not dream.
And yet.
The dream always starts out the same, every night, every time he closes his eyes and slips into the embrace of sleep. He's in a pitch-black room, one so dark that he can't see his hands even when he raises them right in front of his face. He knows, somehow, that he can walk for hours without coming into contact with anything - walls, furniture, anything at all to indicate that he was even in a room. Yet he knows that he is, although he's not sure why, as there really is no reason for him to know that.
The dream changes, after a while of walking. He knows that he won't find anything, no matter how far or how long he walks. This place is empty, desolate even. It fills him with dread every time. The change is never consistent, always bringing him to a different place each night.
(Once, it was a dusty old bedroom, one that made his heart ache, although he didn't know why. He had taken notice of the various space-themed decorations, the model rockets and NASA posters and stars on the ceiling. It was clearly a child's bedroom, but it hadn't been used in a long time. Another time, it was a darkened lab, illuminated only by the strange vials of green liquid lined along the many, many shelves. Bruce had wondered, after he had awoken, if it was Lazarus Water, but that felt wrong. It was something else. Something more. It had made him uneasy, and he got the feeling that something terrible had happened there. He didn't get a chance to investigate the gaping hole in the wall before he had been whisked away to another part of the dream.)
This time, he is in a brightly-lit white lab, and he has to blink stars out of his eyes at the abrupt change in lighting and color. He looks around; it seems like a typical lab, but everything is pure white, except for a green stain on the table. He can feel bile rising in his throat at the sight of the cuffs on the table, and though he still doesn't know what the green substance is, he gets the horrible feeling that it's blood. A lot of it.
He uses what little time he has to investigate the lab. There is an abundance of medical supplies, but many look unused, with the exception of the scalpels. The pit in his stomach continues to grow. Why were there so many? He reaches toward a vial of red liquid, wrong wrong wrong this is wrong, when the dream changes again.
Now he's in what is clearly a cell, except even the cells in Arkham aren't this bare. The only thing it contains is a familiar white-haired teenager, who is chained to the floor with cuffs that glow the same green as the vials of Lazarus Water that he's seen before.
Though Bruce has never learned his name, he has been in every dream, the one constant (besides the empty room, of course) in each one. The kid has never spoken, never done more than watch, but Bruce has always gotten the feeling that he was the reason for these strange dreams.
He knows that he should be more worried. If some kind of meta has managed to get inside his head, there's no telling what could happen. But he can't bring himself to be. Something is wrong, and it's not the teenager.
He can't help but think of his own children.
Something feels . . . off this time. The kid isn't looking up, isn't even moving - he seems limp, almost, as he kneels on the ground, weighed down by the chains keeping him there. Green blood - Bruce knows it's blood now, it has to be - drips from his still figure, pooling on the ground underneath him.
Bruce can't move. He desperately wants to, what could he even do? but it's like he's frozen in place. He can only watch as the teenager slowly, agonizingly, looks up at him, his bright green eyes dull and filled with fear and desperation and hope and -
Bruce wakes.
#dp x dc#dp x dc prompt#bruce wayne#danny fenton#dreams#angst#tw blood#it's technically ectoplasm but better safe than sorry#man it's been a while since i've done a prompt#it's a long one#idk where the inspiration for this even came from#thought it would be neat if danny keeps showing up in bruce's dreams asking for help#it turned into this#also danny got captured by the giw#idk why bruce is getting these dreams#he just is#so the big empty room is supposed to represent danny's thoughts and feelings of hopelessness and empitness#i think#it's supposed to be symbolic#idk if anyone got that but oh well#also that was danny's bedroom and the fenton's lab#which is more obvious than the big empty room lol#why is writing in present tense so hard tho#i guess i'm just used to writing in past tense#oh well#enjoy
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hey!! i just wanted to come on here quickly and say i absolutely adore your art!! i was scrolling through the sebastian sallow x mc tag and found your artwork, and am about to starting reading your story on ao3! you’re super talented!!! and i look forward to reading your story and seeing more art from you <3
AW TYSM!! im glad you found / like my art, and i hope you end up liking my fic as well!👉👈💖💖💖
Y'ALL......im so glad u like my art and also my fic so much😭😭im honoured to be your fav, ty for the support and such high praise....and u are so right about the slytherin/ravenclaw dynamic. surprisingly i never really thought about the dynamic much before HL cause i was mostly focused on gryffindor/gryffindor or gryffindor/slytherin (ive never actually read any HP or HL fanfics, but i was always a romione shipper, and although i never dabbled, i was always interested in dramione/considered reading fics about them), but yess the slytherclaw dynamic just suits the MC/HL so much, especially with seb and his own personal quest for knowledge regarding anne's cure, like u said (also about your second ask, im glad u also enjoyed my ominis oneshot!! as for the nsfw idea.......👀👀....consider it noted👀( and even if i dont draw them im ALWAYS down to get some nsfw ideas or just ideas in general for either seb/clora OR ominis/MC. u never know what can spark inspiration😏) TY AGAIN🙏🙏🙏
#its funny bc before HL came out i was already in such a good girl/bad boy dynamic mood so i was SO close to looking up dramione fanfics#but i never got around to it and then HL came out and that was that LOL#its so funny to me that ive never read a single HP fanfic despite being such a romione shipper#i guess bc canon satiated me for once?? bc after growing up with shounen animes where no romance happens at all#the ron and hermione crumbs we DID get was already more than i was used to getting LMAO#but i aint satiated with HL😤so many fanfics tbr when im done with my own. & at least ill have a lot to choose from thanks to the wait LOL#ask
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I'm still thinking about this lol, I love both of the ideas I already came up with, but I’m still thinking about it and I came up with another idea that might be even better.
Again, under the thingy for length and vague mentions of sex and alcohol, plus suicide this time too 💀 nothing graphic for any of them, but y'know lol
Still an idea for if it happened in highschool, but specifically for if I do actually get round to writing Tim’s little *thing* about Brian. I'm not sure if it'd technically be called a delusion, but I think it would? Anyway, Tim’s little thing about Brian where his brain latched onto him as a source of comfort and ended up with him going “Brian is a literal god made flesh and I worship him”. I could also have Tim lose his virginity to Brian during that time, I think that might be interesting, and could also be very sweet. I don't think I have any plans for Brian to ever really know about Tim’s whole *thing* about him (except I guess post canon? Tim might tell him then when they reconnect) but I think from Tim’s perspective having it happen while his thing about Brian is in full swing could be really interesting and really sweet. Especially if Brian himself is really sweet about it.
I think it'd still be that this is *both* of their first times, so it's awkward and a bit fumbly, but Brian would still be very gentle and loving with it. He’d probably be able to tell something's not quite been right with Tim recently, and it'd again happen while Tim’s drunk and spiralling, but he wouldn't really know exactly what was up. All he’d know is Tim’s not feeling great, and they're cuddling on Brian’s bed home alone because Tim’s very not okay. It honestly probably goes pretty similarly to how the other “it happened in highschool” idea, it'd just be that it happened at a different time, a little later on, after Tim’s thing about Brian had the time to properly get itself ingrained in his head. The feelings about it would be very different too, though, I think.
I don't think Tim would have been able to let it go after that. Like, in the first idea there's the “for whatever reason they don't just end up dating after this” bit, but in this one I just can't see there being a way I could make that work. Tim would absolutely want to date Brian properly after that, and if Brian for whatever reason didn't want to I think that would have properly broken Tim. As in suicide attempt, getting re-hospitalised levels of broke him because he'd feel like he’d done something wrong to earn Brian “hating” him enough to turn him down. And just generally I don't wanna do that to Tim lol, and it doesn't feel like something Brian would have done, especially at that later point in their friendship, but I’d need him to so they can only get together later on in uni lol.
Other than that though I love it so much as an idea, it feels like something that'd work very well with how I see young Tim and Brian in my head, especially young, very mentally ill with very few support systems Tim. He loves Brian, probably has an obsession with him, and he’s desperate to be as close to him as he can. Friendship was enough for a while, but he wants more than that. I don't think I'd have him actually on the feelings unless he and Brian were going to go “all the way” straight away. Like I wouldn't have Tim have kissed Brian unless I was also going to have them have sex within a very short time frame after that. If that makes sense? I'm not sure how I'd make that work though.
I think it'd definitely have to be Brian starting it all, rather than Tim. I think Tim would have been hesitant about telling Brian he likes him, simply because of how wrong it could go, and he catastrophizes about that until he’s totally convinced it would absolutely ruin his current friendship with Brian. And he can't have that, he *needs* Brian in his life, Brian feels like the only thing keeping him even moderately sane, so he’ll stick to just friendship instead of risking everything in the hopes of having something more.
So, yeah. I love that idea, a lot, it feels like it'd fit really well. The only problem with it is that I'm not sure how I'd make them not then immediately get together afterwards, which is annoying because otherwise I adore this idea.
in your universe, did Brian take Tim’s virginity? in my head he did, something about Brian being so sweet and gentle with Tim with Brian kissing Tim all over his body makes my brain go brrrrr
Oh definitely he did. I'm currently stuck between two places for when I want it to have happened, honestly.
Under the thingy a bit for length and a bit for the fact that it's talking about sex and alcohol a fair bit
Because on the one hand, I could make it when they get together properly in uni. Tim got overwhelmed at a party and Brian found him holing up somewhere absolutely not coping at all, probably just because he lost track of his friends and kinda freaked out a bit, and yeah they were both fairly drunk, but Tim needed comfort and Brian gave him that. And then once Tim had calmed down one thing led to another and it ended with them sleeping together at that party. Brian's definitely had sex before at least a couple times in this version of it, he's still awkward, especially since Tim's his best friend and has been for a couple years at this point, he doesn't want to ruin that.
Then both of them are like "well shit" the next morning after they stumbled home together and woke up hung over (Brian more than Tim, Tim's used to being drunk at that point and knows how to deal with it—though he does try not to drink, chain smokes instead most of the time—Brian not so much, Tim has to look after him a bit cos he's being a bit of a baby, but he doesn't mind that, counts it as returning the favour of Brian looking after him the night before) and they remember what happened. But they sit down and they talk, because Brian's a psychology student and Tim's had a decade of therapy (albeit not the best therapy, but still therapy), and they kinda figure things out and go, "you know what? I like you, you like me, how about we date? No one needs to know, that way there's absolutely no pressure from anyone, and we just see how this works out?"
Because I think that'd be absolutely adorable.
Or
I want it to have been something kinda stupid when they were still pretty new friends, as in, both probably still 16, maybe Brian had just turned 17, something like that. Once again, it was a drunk thing, at least on Tim's side of it. That's the one thing that's constant in my mind is Tim lost his virginity while drunk, because my version of him was pretty much at least slightly tipsy all the time throughout his time in highschool. He had a friend who was old enough to buy alcohol who had absolutely no moral issues buying alcohol for him even after realising Tim was becoming pretty reliant on it. Tim was struggling so bad with even just existing after getting out of the hospital to have at least a couple years of normal highschool before college, that he kinda needed the alcohol to help him cope/function.
It would probably have been a much worse decision if it was that second one, or like, Tim made the decision at a worse time mentally. Like, it wouldn't go badly for either of them, wouldn't fuck up their friendship or anything for more than a bit of awkwardness that went away after like a few weeks, but in this version of how it goes, it happens because Tim's in a pretty bad downward spiral that he doesn't know how to handle. Probably with Tim very drunk because something or other had happened, or had been happening for the past week that he absolutely didn't know how to handle. So he turned to two things he knows help, alcohol (drinking all day, probably skipping school for it so he wouldn't gey caught) and getting comfort from Brian. But this is a pretty damn bad spiral, so Brian's usual amount of comfort wasn't really enough.
He'd have found himself going back to Brian's place after school, spending the whole evening there slowly getting more and more drunk, with Brian at first joining him because whoo alcohol! Something they're not meant to have! But he doesn't drink as much as Tim and after a while starts gently attempting to be like "heyyyyy, maybe you should drink some water instead, you just seem to be getting more upset? Let's go make something for dinner and watch a movie or something, yeah?" And eventually that works, they eat and they watch a movie and Tim sobers up a little before they go to bed, but he's still struggling a lot (probably hallucinations is how I'm thinking, hallucinations and rapid switching, thought they wouldn't know that second part, probably just assumed it was part of the being drunk) and he ends up crawling into bed with Brian instead of taking the air mattress on the floor like he usually does when he stays over.
They end up kissing and don't get round to talking about anything before they're very awkwardly wiggling out of their clothes and figuring out how having sex actually works. Then the next morning rolls around and they're not as awkward as they expected to be, they don't regret it exactly, but they're also a bit like "��� oh we did that... Well, uh... As long as we're still friends?" And it kinda ends there, they both definitely still have crushes on each other but for whatever reason neither of them act on that again. Until uni comes along, then you get that same party (the one Jay and Alex also "get together" at for the first time properly) and they sleep together again for the first time in like a year or so, and this time they actually talk about it and have that same whole "I like you, you like me, how about we date?" exchange as above.
...could technically have both if I wanted, just make Tim forget about the time in highschool so he thinks the time in uni is the first lol
#asks#mild nsft#marble hornets#brian thomas#tim wright#mh brim#mh sorry its locked#fic/series rated e on ao3#in case anyone would prefer not to read that
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It's always interesting to hear about people's weird/unexpected "alternate life paths". Like, something that you could have done with your life, a job you almost took, a school you almost went to, etc - that was still actually realistic enough that it could have happened, but NOW it seems to not suit your current personality.
Like for example, I currently hate advertising (how manipulative it is, brands trying to be 'relatable', social media amplifying it to an obnoxious extreme, etc.) so much that even seeing a little ad before a youtube video is grating to even witness, but there was a point in time where I was genuinely seriously considering going into marketing/making commercials as a career lol. Or like, I have a relative who was very inclined to be a pastor when they were younger, even though today they're a super strong atheist, etc. etc.
#BECAUSE I knew I really liked filming and editing things and doing set design and costume design (from having done little bits of that#here and there in media classes and my own stuff - i used to be a lot more into making videos than I am now). BUT I was always thinking#that a movie is WAAY to big and long. even a short film. So I was trying to think of ways I could still like#have the fun of scouting locations to film and dressing up actors and etc. etc. without it having to be a Huge Million Dollar Production#on tv show or movie level. SO then I was thinking about like... just doing commercials. Or music videos. Like shorter things where I still#get the fun of the filming and everything but it's less of an intensive long term project.#So there is an alternate version of me (I suppose if i somehow did not end up having physical and mental health issues#as badly somehow.. or like.. randomly came into wealth and was able to pay my way through a nice college despite missing#days constantly being out because I'm sick or something lol) that works in some corporate advertising office coming up with commercials#and directing or filming them or doing the sets for them or something in that general vicinity.#I also was considering being a corporate psychologist. or whatever its called.. oh from google:#''Industrial and organizational (I/O) psychologists study and assess individual group and organization dynamics in the workplace''#I don't think I even knew what the job entailed. I was at the time just thinking like.. the type of person that comes into a business offic#and gives everyone personality assessments or does MBTI or big-5 testing crap for whatever reason that some businesses get that#done for people. Really i just wanted to be in a Corporate Big Office setting yet still do psychology. Because I used to be really fixated#on living in a big city. Like the ideas of everything being walkable. picking up a coffee in the morning. walking to my job in a Big#Skyscraper Building. people watching in a huge hotel lobby for lunch. flying frequently (I love airplanes and airports aesthetically).#living in an apartment with a giant window overlooking the city. etc. etc. BUT that was before i had really BEEN to a city. Then I actually#hung around a city a few times and went places and I was like... AUGh... The Sensory Overwhelm.. cars people lights loudness noise scary#everything happening all at once. etc. etc. (though even when I wanted to live in a city i NEVER strove for the Night Life. when i say I#enjoy city imagery I mean like... in the day time. Many people who like cities talk about The Night Life and post pictures of cities all#lit up at night and clubs and dancing and restaurants. none of that EVER appealed to me. perhaps a sign I am not a real city person. Like#I am NOT standing in a crowded bar full of loud people in the middle of the night lol.. get AWAY from me!!) but I do adore the#architecture of like bright white clean sterile modern spaces like huge airport lobbies or malls or etc. I think thats what reminded me of#city and what I liked about the idea of that life. Like I always LOVED the layout of schools and hospitals and trainstations and public#transport in general. Though even then I knew enough that I would not be a good architect/city planner. so I guess my adoration for those#spaces was merely to be channeled into LIVING there. but then I realized I didn't even really want to do that that much. I mean I still#definitely aim to live NEAR a city. like the little areas outside of it. I would never live in a rural place 4 hours from anything. I liter#ally just COULDNT since I need close access to hospitals sometimes lol. But I used to want to live in the CENTER of citites like high rise#condo. and now I'm like.... eh....... perhaps a smaller quieter walkable space nearby lol.. ANYWAY.. alternate me in my Business Suit eheh
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i finally got around to centaurworld's finale and holy fucking shit??? they can go that hard??
#god i cannot put into words just how fantastic that finale was#it just makes me so... disappointed that the rest of s2 was so boring#like i had to rewatch s1 when it came out before i could actually appreciate it because its so far from my kind of thing#BUT THE FINALE FELT LIKE IT WAS AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT SHOW? And it was RLLY GOOD#that last episode practically carried this season holy fuck.#the nowhere king is such an amazing villain and i am just so confused .#i wishhh s2 focused more on picturing the past for us and answering s1 questions and maybe even developing characters like the princess#(where did she even go actually i didnt see her in that last scene)#because i still have questions about some things but they come from a place of pure interest in the world only because of this last episode#girl i dont know how to word this at all. i feel like we couldve had something great#anyway s1 is fun as an introduction to the show s2 is boring because i expected more answers about the past and im not#as interested in the centaurs anymore but i liked the main casts backstories i guess and the finale was pretty amazing all around#this show just keeps bouncing around for me lol. also it feels like the cast had so much fun with it. i wouldve too! love that
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my five surviving braincells when something remotely good happens:
#in other news… wORK IS OVER PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#man. i’m s o tired. i can’t believe i survived almost 2 whole years at this job…#huh. come to think of it… i started tling idol sengen before i even got this job lol. and i’m only 3/5 of the way through it…#can’t believe the idol sengen grind->hiatus->grind(?) outlives my time at [withheld] company…#i did end up spending a cool 20 mins cleaning out my work locker though. i found so many treasures i didn’t even know i had in there#like. there was an unopened 3-pack of wet tissues a n d an unopened box of pens that i don’t recall buying#and ofc the 3 random sponges i ‘liberated’ from the lab. don’t tell my boss lmao#w a i t now that i think about it i should’ve taken at least 1 vial of (allegedly) carcinogenic sand for the memories. dammit.#oh well. what’s done is done i suppose. i did receive way more chocolate than i could ever eat though…#y. yeah. i guess i’ll miss my coworkers (a little). they were fun to annoy every day. except for the new guy bc i don’t like him at all lol#i have never met someone who lacked as much common sense as he. i think he’s gonna get canned before he’s able to resign on his own terms#dude could be spoonfed through every single step of the testing process and *still* mess up somewhere smh#but no. this isn’t about him. even though he is the final straw that led to my decision to resign#hm. looking back on it now. i think i was pretty good at my job for the most part when it came to the things i could do#or maybe i was too good at it. like. to the point where even more experienced analysts were coming to me in search of help#prolly gonna miss being one of the very best (out of like a grand total of 10 people at the lab) at doing ftir-related tests#ehehehehehehe i wonder if that workstation will continue to stay as organised as it is now that i’m gone#a n d i wonder what my coworkers will do now that they can’t ask me for ms excel help for the smallest of things lol#sometimes i just wanna tell them to g o g o o g l e i t ! ! ! when they call me over for it. but alas.#can’t believe these guys know how to use c h a t g p t and not ms excel (despite having it on their resume) smh#omg wow this got long and incoherent sorry guys i think i need some sleep lol. idol sengen next week..#…maybe…? no promises though!!!!!
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I keep seeing criticisms of poor modern interpretations of Shadow as "Vegeta Shadow" and it's confusing because.... which Vegeta are y'all talking about here? You've seen DBZ or Super, right??
Vegeta was overly aggressive and a downright villain up until the Cell saga and partially the Buu Saga. His character arc led to becoming a family man, a friend and fellow protector of Earth. Shadow's initial concept was always meant to be the Vegeta to Sonic's Goku, it's in his original concept art sketch notes. Take Vegeta's arc as a whole and it fits Shadow's pretty neatly from antagonistic enemy -> aggressive rival -> well-adjusted, even friendly equal.
When Shadow's antagonistic with Sonic and co, it's usually because he's on a mission and perceives them as in his way, like his battle against Knuckles in Rivals.
But most of the times after 06, in Rivals, Generations, Forces, TSR, the TSR animations or Sonic Channel's short stories, he's often dismissive, maybe even abrasive, but not an ego-driven jerk. Sonic does agitate and annoy him, just not enough to the point he'll attack for that reason alone. He'd usually just prefer running off if he's ticked off enough. Unless there's a need to start a fight, he won't and is pretty composed otherwise. In fact, Shadow's good-natured enough that when Sonic's challenging him to a fun race or suggests they work together, he's willing to take him up on it without much arguing.
Are people mixing up their criticisms of Boom Shadow with Game Shadow? Because criticizing HIM for being a quarter-inch deep Pre-Cell Vegeta makes more sense but he's barely related to Game Shadow. Boom Shadow doesn't even HAVE a tragic backstory in the context of that series. He's just a brooding weirdo who lives alone in dank caves and has zero reason on why he's like that.
Anyway, I think calling poor portrayals "Vegeta Shadow" is a misnomer and missing the root of the problem. If they are trying to make him like Vegeta, seems they're only going off very early-Vegeta. It's most likely short-sighted writers only referencing SA2 to ShTH Shadow believing that's his entire character arc, ignoring Battle, 06 or anything else after that. :/
#shadow the hedgehog#sonic the hedgehog#text#ramble#Zoomer Sonic#It's one of the strangest complaints I see for Shadow because it doesn't add up in the games#Game Shadow is pretty decent all things considered#The guy even went to Sonic's birthday and hung out with the gang after Forces so he's not against hanging out entirely lol#Shadow can be a tough character to write for because he's got unique nuances that separate him from Vegeta#But it's not that hard to watch his whole story-line throughout the games and see what he's about#Also I guess it seems IDW Shadow took notes more from Boom than the games so I guess that's also where this came up#oof#Boomer Sonic
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sorry im just thinking about bcs but like. why not add a few smaller scenes of gus interacting with his own men? why does it seem like, in comparison, mike is almost immediately elevated to a higher status than those two in bcs purely because we actually get to see him having normal conversations with gus? like i understand they might not keep the plot moving as well because of the fact obviously if victor is currently doing something it’s because gus told him to etc. but for the most part all of the smaller interactions gus does have with those two ends up being in a somewhat high stress situation where it feels very tense between everyone. and it’s just like damn! is it always like that?? why do those two even care that much about their jobs if their boss is a bit of a dick? etc. i think even an additional scene or two with those guys (either alone or the both of them) talking with gus in a more normal situation could’ve both added a bit more depth into how gus treats his employees (we got a lot with how he treats lyle and co., but not a whole lot with the illegal side of things), how comfortable vic and tyrus feel around him in a calmer setting, and exactly why they both feel the need to be as loyal as they are to the guy.
and also on the other side of this i don't think it'd hurt to maybe elaborate on their pay just a bit..? i'm not saying to randomly put a number out into the atmosphere but i just mean some smaller things like. do they buy nicer things for themselves? what's their housing situation? what's their car situation? are the escalade / yukon their own vehicles or does gus just use those two for business situations? do they use them when they're doing their own stuff off the clock or do they have their own cars? etc. that can also help with understanding their motivations a bit. don't get me wrong i don't think they should be visibly rich or something because that's not what gus would want but just smaller things! cause it's easy to write their loyalty off as Well they probably get paid super well, which i'm sure is true, but if they don't show a single hint of that then what's the point. even something as simple as giving tyrus a nice watch, or maybe victor having a nicer looking gun, etc. something small like that. because as it stands right now the average 41 year old viewer who watched the show once only knows and will only ever know victor and tyrus as those two guys in the background who do random stuff for gus with no clear motivation. just the personification of "On it boss (salute emoji)". and to be honest this is true for a whole lot of fans who do watch the show multiple times and enjoy thinking about it more in depth, because on screen we barely have anything about the two.
and to be clear i'm not trying to say we should have an episode just for them or something like no i understand they're side characters. i understand we don't need all that. and i understand this is also primarily Jimmy's show. but it's not like these two are on the same level as like, arlo or paige and kevin etc. these guys have been around since brba. victor was literally introduced in the same episode gus was. and they are a huge part of gus's story, especially in brba. s4 wouldn't have been what it was without victor and tyrus. and in bcs, ignacio's situation wouldn't have been the same if it weren't for victor and tyrus as well. and i just personally believe that if their goal with gus in bcs was to go back and elaborate on how everything came to be and show what he was like a few years younger, they could've dragged victor and tyrus into that. and i think his character would've benefited from taking that extra step with those two.
#gray.txt#and you know. obviously i personally have my own clear ideas of everything. and i'm content with what i got. this isn't coming from a place#of Well victor is my favorite guy so everything should be about him LOL. i know what he is.#but thats only because i spent like what? 2 years now watching random interviews and analyzing the smallest details within the show that#genuinely meant nothing while they were writing the scripts. and then throwing some random ideas at the wall to see if they stick.#and i just dont think everybody should have to do that LOL. and i think gus's character gets a lot more interesting#when do you do have this clear idea of victor and tyrus in your head and how he interacts with them. but 99% of people dont have that!#nobody fucking knows everything giancarlo and vince ever said about box cutter. nobody knows about the interview where giancarlo referred t#his entire business (meth and restaurant) as his 'family'. and they'd never think of that in those terms#because with the exception of his restaurant workers and mike#it feels like he HATES them LMAO.#tldr all i'm saying is i think we could've benefited from at least one 1 minute long scene of victor and gus exchanging words#where it doesn't end in gus snapping the phone in half out of anger. and also let tyrus speak his mind and have gus agree with him once#also yeah sorry this is all over the place but it is somehow the most coherent i have felt in months so this is as good as its getting sorr#sorry .#also to be clear about my earlier statement that’s a lie my idea of those two is not clear in my head whatsoever i just meant in comparison#to literally the average viewer. and my own personal thoughts about them aren’t even true it’s just opinions and guesses.#and i love a character that i can just say shit about but at the same time i think it’s fun to have idk something in the source material#that you can actually use while thinking and not have to dig around 11 year old reddit AMAs#and that money paragraph sort of came out of order what i meant by saying all that is like#i feel those two could benefit from a clear motivation for why they do all the things they do#and if we have neither personal reasons nor monetary reasons then it just makes them feel like one dimensional henchmen or something#came out of no where* not order you dumb fuck (< me)#also it doesn’t have to be clear in our faces or anything whatever you know what i’m saying . this is too long i can’t keep elaborating
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does anyone have recommendations for fictional media that has like. actual lesbians in it. not like supergirl Two White Skinny Girls, One Blonde and One Brunette Kiss media, or "its implied lesbianism!!!" but just regular fucking lesbians
#i say lesbians but i guess i mean sapphic#im just like. tired of gnawing#and of men also. sorry men in my life i love you but on god if i have to pretend one more man is butch just to get#content that isnt m/m or m/f im going to turn into a horse and run into the wilderness until im saved from the glue factory by a plucky#young woman except instead of letting her have her formative summer where she trains me and bonds w me and wins a competition w me#im going to commit horse suicide in front of her & change her life forever. just because im so tired of bland CW-marketable women kissing &#digging for scraps in a refuse bin while brushing aside 7002993829292929939292929399394 gay and het romances#m text#i will also take nonfictional lesbians if its like a story#not to be whiny on main but one of the hardest hurdles i had to jump wasnt realizing i was a lesbian. i came out to myself and to friends a#lesbian multiple times. but i would always walk it back when a friend would express doubt or a male friend would ask me out#bc i dont and especially then didnt know very many lesbians in person. and so i had to turn to examples#and all i fucking had were fictional women who liked men. or fictional lesbians who were so cleaned and sanitized and prettified#(you all know what i mean right. the 2 skinny white girls one blonde one brunette. im not crazy right)#and i would be like. i dont feel things when i look at these fictional lesbians so i guess i belong back here#(this is also bc my gender ended up being fuckier than i realized but shhhhh)#I WAS GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THESE TAGS but theyre too long and im lost.#anyway the point is if people werent so fucking weird abt fictional or onscreen lesbians maybe thered be a lot more people comfortable bein#out as lesbian#like sorry but this awful ouroboros of 'all lesbians onscreen have to be cute and sanitized' meaning that people write and believe wlw has#to be cute and pure and sanitized (OR a 'badge of honor' bc good for u u doodled two women together or had it as a background in ur fic)#meaning that therefore all portrayals of lesbianism continue to be like this. is just#and im also gonna be honest theres probably a lot of good sapphic media im just in the wrong circles to have stumbled into lol. so#yknow. personal viewer bias here#but i still like swing wildly between overly brandishing my dykeness as a badge to feel like im proving im lesbian#and like. backing up under a blanket bc i dont wanna be weird or annoying or freak people out#but if people just Saw Normal Ass Lesbians. aough.#im going to watch revolutionary girl utena one of these days even if i struggled w the writing style the first few episodes#I JUST WANNA SEE AN OLD BUTCH ONSCREEN GET SOME PUSSY.#like it also doesnt help im mostly femme4butch so seeing 2 femmes on screen is like. okay cool so what. but only femmes are 'marketable'
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Hi yes I would like it if you went insane over cross (publically on Tumblr dot com) thank you
(hehe hi catto i appreciate u 🫶🫶🫶)
today is not the day, btu. i really wish you guys could see through my brain, and look at the part of my brain that's responsible for simping for cross (DAILY) and see how fucking, weird it is, how delulu i am for him how ill i am for this guy
#/silly#ask#mblue talks#m rambles#i made it sound like its absolutely awful but it isn't. really#some others prolly have it worse than me#(and def understand the character more than me)#im just exaggerating it for the funnies#but if only you guys could see and understand what my brain thinks of cross#(the shame and anxiety is pulling me down sry)#(maybe there wont be a huge ass post but my thoughts will all be sprinkled under the tags of my posts like these)#(just the usual)#('mblue its called obsession' i Know /holds head in hands/)#(he's like- a frkin highschool crush a campus crush a guy id crush on in highschool type beat)#(he's the 'get out get out get out of my head /lyric' crush)#(i feel conflicted abt it sometimes; i guess that's where the tsundere came in lol)#(like. from all the way back to the initial cross simping art i made)#(im prolly just delulu;; and i like thinking of the timelines of the sona lore ive thought of as basis for silly au's and scenarios)#(and especially the dynamics)#(dynamics are so fun guys)#(it is embarrassing how much ive basically kept pairing up my sona(s) and cross (variants) like lil dolls together in diff contexts haha;;
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just recently watched this is us with my college friends
#tbqh i found it kinda boring 😭#the louis clips were so not enough#ive watched some clips online prior to actually watching it (for the first time might i add)#one of my friends had a cousin who was crazyyy ab 1d so she dragged her out to the cinema to go watch it when it came out and in 3d lol 😭#the 3d schtick is so funny 2 me lmao 😭#my friend recalls freaking out in the movie theater bc she was a major niall fan at the time. she said 3d niall was so close 2 her face lol#anyway. ab how i watched some clips online prior#i was actually waiting for the louis n his sisters part or the one where he visits his school or smth#my friends.... they literally don't know a thing ab louis personality-wise so they didn't really get much from it#UGH i should download aotv and make them watch it that was way more interesting (but idk? smth about it feels like it's made for fans only?#but... i'll suggest it the next time we get together 🙏🏼#anyw back to my review.#simon cowell's face was a jumpscare what can i say. it was so evil how nicole scherzinger was just. completely written off#im from the future i Know things#<- and like. about this. i felt kinda bad being cynical about the movie when i know my friend is Still an ot5 at heart#i think i broke her 13-year old heart a little 😭#it's so weird how the movie keeps singling out zayn about him getting kicked out or him talking solo music etc kskdj. feels v pointed Lol#they really just documented the 1d-mania & madness they ensued huh.... i think 2 of my friends (bts fans) weren't as impressed LOL 😭#they kinda flamed their performances and stage outfits which is. yeah i agree. kpop idols do WAY more than just.... that (1d) kskskd#i guess i'll make them watch the extra clips next time (o haven't seen all the clips yet i think)#OH and 😭 why was martin scorsese in the film that was hilarious#didn't have a lot of realness to it. is what i thought of the film. yeah. this is(N'T) us ✊🏽😔#maybe... i am too much of a hater#i liked... the... um. it's hard to highlight things i liked ab the film when im Not a 1d fan 😭 like im a louie ONLY idgaf ab 1d 😔#the part ab louis audition.... im sorry babie the editors did u dirty but it was so funny........😭#<- though i imagine it solidified people's (wrong) opinions about him :/
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some ccs are just straight up nuts there’s no other explanation
#saw a comment on r/dwt2 and it made me look into the moonzy/draggie situation#this freak accused him of having ‘grooming tendencies’ when he was YOUNGER than her#he showed all their DMs and it was just reciprocated flirting ??#he was initiated more but it seemed reciprocal to me?#she just got mad at him bc he replied to one of her tweets where she was flirting with Karl with ‘ouch’#<- replied in DMs I mean#I guess bc she thought the flirting was a joke ??#how is this an ‘experience’ you need to speak up about im loosing my mind#‘guy flirted with me I flirted back but I wasn’t really interested pls show ur sympathies and like and subscribe🥺’#and in her statement she was talking about an anon who came out about their experiences prior#saying they had been groomed but draggie had fully debunked that years ago#so idk why she was bringing that up ??#and ofc you have aim.sey and max and sniff in the replies with their heart emojis#straight up nuts I’m losing brain cells here#btw she’s the one who said something about how a lot of ccs didn’t support her#including big ones from that ‘stupid mine.craft server’ (meaning dsmp obv)#just nuts straight up nuts#negativity#like I have to be missing something (and if I am pls tell me but I don’t think I am???)#because saying this cringe flirting with someone YOUNGER THAN YOUUU is ‘groomer tendencies’ is fucking nuts#it’s just what is with these people like what’s wrong with them#why does mildly uncomfortable experience = horrible predator we need to inform the public about bc they’re a danger to society#sorry I’m done I’m just actually upset lol
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had the thought 'it might be interesting to also collect a cicada nymph before it can molt and keep it as a wet specimen' and then immediately the concept of a cicada quietly growing underground for thirteen years to finally, finally emerge into the world only to get killed and put in a jar before it ever has a chance to stretch its wings just because some idiot thought it'd be neat nearly made me cry
#'jay aren't you gonna eat them' yeah#it's different#the main reason I stopped collecting insects after DJ and I broke up is that I get Weird about it#it's a weird... like. so vulnerable species notwithstanding#one thing about bugs in an ecosystem is that they're highly abundant and-- on an individual basis-- disposable#they lay a zillion eggs because they're getting eaten (or just stepped on even) by every other goddamn thing alive#in general my sincere belief is that a hobbyist with an insect collection is literally fine#but on a PERSONAL level because I'm not A Scientist and I know my personal desire for an insect collection comes down to 'they're pretty'--#feels weird. feels bad! feels like a bad reason to kill something even if killing that specific thing isn't measurably harmful to do#same way I feel about people killing spiders when I JUST SAID I would take care of it#like... okay there are a zillion other grass spiders where that came from but YOU are still a dickhead for doing that for no reason#ANYWAY. I'm making a collection exception for magicicadas because 1) okay @me come on there's gonna be a zillion. it's literally fine#and 2) this double emergence feels like such a genuinely big deal to me! first one in ~200 years and there won't be another for ~200 more!!#if I can collect scientifically viable specemins it feels like... there's a point to that#beyond 'I saw a butterfly so pretty I just HAD to kill it 🥰' you know??#... this has all come a bit tangential to the post I guess lol but... just feels existentially cruel#lots of cicada nymphs are going to get stepped on or eaten before they can molt into adults and I know that but it still just.. makes me sa#they live SO LONG. they've waited SO LONG for this. aahhh...#about me#cicada quest
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